Aldi One-Z Sleeping Bag Suit

It wasn’t long after I thought about making this issue of Wild a fiasco-themed one that I wandered into an Aldi and spotted a OneZ sleeping bag suit, not just on sale, but at a reduced price ($49.99 down to $34.99). Perfect! What better product to review for this particular issue. I proudly took it to the checkout, where the middle-aged lady there raised an eyebrow as she scanned it through. Presuming it was the hot-pink colour that caused her do so, I said, “It says it’s unisex.” “I guess that makes it OK then,” she replied flatly. Was she being sarcastic? Playful? Or just to the point? Regardless, given that these suits are a ‘Special Buy’ available just once a year, reviewing this seemed too good an opportunity to pass up.

So let’s start with the colour. Although some might disagree, I like the hue of this particular version. While there’s a blue version available (boring!), any company that says hot pink is unisex gets a tick in my opinion. Unfortunately, though, as fashionable as the colour is, the cut is anything but. The proportions are crazy. The legs and arms in the medium size, supposedly for anyone between 170-184cm, (I’m 177cm) are ludicrously short. The crotch sat barely higher than my knees, and I couldn’t extend my arms fully. The midriff, meanwhile, was ridiculously huge. I don’t know who Aldi body-modelled the OneZ on; perhaps a womble.

But let’s dive to the question you all have: Was it warm? The answer is yes. And no. And it depends. As a sleeping bag, its comfort rating is just 9°C, and I found it easily exceeds that mark. But given it weighs 1.9kg, and is, well, fricken huge (see top-right pic), you’d expect far better. I took it out in sub-zero temps in the snow, and lasted a few hours, but in the end, had to pull an extra bag over me. What’s more, I couldn’t roll around in it without getting caught up. Unlike a sleeping bag, which you can move inside, I kinda felt surprisingly trapped.

But at a bbq, it came into its own. It was genuinely toasty warm while sitting around a fire drinking some shandies. Speaking of which, going to the boys’ room in it was surprisingly easy, thanks to the near-full-length side zips. That said, I can only imagine the girls’ room would be a nightmare; there’s no easy way to squat in this. I guess number twos would be awful as well.

The two exterior hip pockets aren’t great either. They have literally zero depth; whatever you put in them invariably falls out. On the plus side, though, the suit does have removable feet, and you can tuck your hands into the ‘paws’.

Ultimately, though, Aldi’s OneZ is too big, far too heavy, and the sizing is ridiculous. But the price is low, and it is snuggly. And it comes in hot pink. I give it 2.5 stars.

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